How You Speak To Them Is How You Leave Them

The title of this post is one of the most important lessons I've learned about communication.  

We often carry burden in our lives. Perhaps being tired, frustrated, stressed, or just unhappy can impact our energy level. If we wear our feelings on our sleeves, we may not be showing up to others how we want to be seen.

With two teens in the house, there's no doubt that conversations can be challenged. Recently I noticed that my oldest son seemed annoyed at every question and was often terse or dismissive. I finally asked him what was wrong, to which he responded that he was tired. Children are often self-focused, so I wanted to help him see how his actions were impacting those around him. When he is warm and friendly, filled with joy, my day is enriched with every interaction. However, when he's presenting himself in a negative manner, how do you think he makes me feel? While a rhetorical question, clearly it doesn't make me feel loved or appreciated in the moment.

How are you talking to your spouse, friends, family, team or clients? What about service people when you're out in public? What impression are you leaving?

I had a manager in my early sales career who taught me to notice everything. When I see a name tag, I refer to the person by their name. I want them to feel respected and appreciated. We all deserve to be happy. If someone is unfriendly, I often make it my mission to help them make a positive shift. It costs nothing, but it means everything if we care about others.

However, when we're more worried about our own feelings than that of others, we might be missing the mark. While I am human and I do often fall short, my goal is to leave others feeling better about their day and life than when I first connected with them. As I tell my daughter often, you can be the light in the room, or you can bring darkness. It's a simple choice.

I felt this video on tonality was a great example of how a simple shift in our approach can bring more light: https://youtube.com/shorts/y8uUSIyQhfs?si=qI-MfmSR3-tQqtg5

I shared this with my children, which my girlfriend followed up with this message:
https://youtube.com/shorts/R3PoP7kBkRo?si=PlwyVxkLxdbfnhy7

If how you speak to them is how you leave them, leave them smiling. If you do, you might just find yourself smiling too.